“The world doesn’t need tougher people. It needs people who are tough and tender.”
Hey Rollers,
It’s a weird old world we live in right now. And while none of us control everything, each of us influences something. The best place to start is ourselves.
Too often, we’re crystal clear on career goals, fitness goals, or material ambitions. But how often do we pause to ask: What kind of human am I becoming?
That’s why this speech by James Freeman Clarke, written in 1878, resonates with me so much. It’s called True Manliness and gets me saying, ‘‘Yes, that. I want to become that kind of human.”
Don’t let the title fool you. This isn’t just for men, it’s a call to all of us. Because Clarke’s message is universal: real strength isn’t about toughness or bravado. It’s about courage and compassion, held together.
True Manliness
By James Freeman Clarke (1878)
A false notion of manliness leads boys astray. True manliness is humane; it says, “We who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak.” Its work is to protect those who cannot defend themselves; to stand between the tyrant and the slave, the oppressor and his victim. It is identical in all times with the spirit of chivalry which led the good knights to wander in search of robbers, giants, and tyrannical lords, those who oppressed the poor and robbed helpless women and orphans of their rights.
There are no tyrant barons now, but the spirit of tyranny and cruelty is still to be found. The good knight today is he who provides help for the blind, the deaf and dumb, the insane; who defends animals from being cruelly treated, rescues little children from bad usage, and seeks to give working women their rights. He protects all these sufferers from that false manliness which is brutal to the weak.
True manliness is tender and loving; false manliness is cold and hard, cynical and contemptuous. The bravest and most heroic souls are usually the most loving. Garibaldi, Kossuth, Mazzini, the heroes of our times; Luther, who never feared the face of man; Gustavus-Adolphus and William of Orange, are examples of this union of courage and tenderness. Bold as lions in the defense of the right, such men in their homes and their private life have a womanly gentleness.
False manliness is unfeeling, with no kindly sympathies, rude and rough and overbearing. True manliness is temperate; it is moderate; it exercises self-control; it is capable of self-denial and renunciation. False manliness is self-willed and self-indulgent.
Clarke wrote this nearly 150 years ago, but I think it still matters. Maybe now more than ever.
For me, the challenge is simple: am I cultivating courage and compassion at the same time?
Toughness isn’t how much you can take, it’s how much courage you can pair with compassion.
Until next week.
Keep rolling.
Justin 👊
Take Action in 3 Minutes:
Don’t just ask what you’re chasing, ask who you’re becoming.
👉 Write down two traits you want to embody more fully (e.g. courage + compassion).
👉 Identify one action this week where you can practice both, together.
Because clarity on who you want to be is just as important as clarity on what you want to achieve.